31 Days of Horror – Day 28!

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I think The Conjuring is a decent enough movie. I think the sequel sucked. I think Annabelle is one of the god damn worst movies we’ve seen. It’s The Room of horror movies. It’s thoroughly hilarious. So, my little THING with the Warrens is that I don’t like them. I don’t believe in haunted houses, ghosts, or demonic possessions. I like movies about them. I also like movies about superheroes and gremlins and other fictional things that are not real. Like everything the Warrens have ever claimed to say or do and all the money they have made off of that ANYWAY THEY’RE NO WORSE THAN POLITICIANS SO I GUESS IT DOESN’T MATTER.

The Amityville Horror (1979)
Directed by Stuart Rosenberg
Written by Sandor Stern

The Amityville Horror is based on a made-up true story about a family who moves into a house where a guy murdered his family and the house starts fucking with them for the duration of a movie.

Josh Brolin and Margot Kidder do well-enough with what they’re given, but they aren’t given much. This is not a scary movie. This is a relatively boring movie with some occasional cool imagery (flies) and a great ending.

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Now, I know maybe it was scary back then. But I have serious doubts about that, because it came out 6 years after The Exorcist and doesn’t come close in terms or horror or quality.

Guys this seriously is going to be a disappointingly short post. I really don’t have much to say. I think the only reason this movie scared people is because they said it was “based on true events” which translates to “a family moved out of their house and we’re speculating on why.”

Spoilers I guess. But the movie isn’t very good.

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