Hey guys so I had a super busy weekend with limited internet access so I couldn’t do a whole lot of movie stuff. I did go on a ghost tour of Lewisburg, WV though, so that was fun and interesting. Anyway I figured I wouldn’t want to leave you guys with nothing, so here I’m going to talk about the horror movies from this year that I’ve seen so far, and my brief feelings about them.
Anyway, here are the rest of the movies I’ve seen this year!
Directed by William Brent Bell
Written by Stacy Menear
I hated this movie.
BOOM right off the bat WOW big opinion train COMIN THROUGH CHOO CHOO
Anyway, this movie was a disappointing series of already-done horror tropes that weren’t very good to begin with. Then, to bring it all home, a cool and unique twist!
I AM LYING TO YOU.
The twist, though seldom-used, was used as recently as 2014 in a GREAT obscure horror movie and I don’t really want to say what movie because it would spoil THAT movie. But take my word for it. Every single aspect of this film has been done MUCH better elsewhere and it’s really not worth wasting your time. Even drunk.
The Conjuring 2
Directed by James Wan
Written by James Wan, Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes, and David Leslie Johnson
James Wan’s best movie is Furious 7. By a MILE. People are calling him the next great horror director and I’m calling those people the next BIG FAT DUMB IDIOTS. James Wan is a HACK and his movies are BORING.
Let me first tell you something important: I have not seen Dead Silence. Or Insidious 2. Maybe I will watch them in the coming weeks. I actually probably will. But I HAVE seen Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring, and The Conjuring 2. In one short sentence (or less) I will give you my thoughts on each:
Saw: The most overrated modern horror movie ever. Only good thing was Cary Elwes.
Insidious: Insidious was pretty good.
The Conjuring: First 75% was pretty good, last 25% was absolutely hilarious.
The Conjuring 2: First 25% was pretty good, middle 50% was funny, last 25% was BORING.
So I guess by hack I mean James Wan, as a horror director, is astoundingly mediocre.
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies
Directed by Burr Steers
Written by Burr Steers
There is almost nothing more to say than that this movie was SO fun and pretty funny. I genuinely had a great time watching it.
Directed by Mike Flanagan
Written by Mike Flanagan and Kate Siegel
I love Mike Flanagan. I really liked Absentia and I loved Oculus. I’m excited for Before I Wake and his Ouija sequel. I’m glad he’s churning out so many movies. Might watch the first Ouija movie soon.
Anyway Hush is about a crazy murderer who tries to kill a deaf woman in her solitary cabin in the woods. I watched this movie with my dog (last movie I watched with my dog, love you Pepper rip) in the family lake house and no one else was there. I think that probably added to it, but I loved it. Great home invasion movie. The twist of our heroine being deaf is really cool and fun. It’s on Netflix, I recommend it.
The Purge: Election Year
Directed by James DeMonaco
Written by James DeMonaco
The newest Purge is best Purge. The first Purge is a movie that had a really fun idea and mostly wasted it on a home invasion thriller. It’s fun and cheesy but it’s mediocre. The Purge: Anarchy goes wild with the ideas from the original (and I’m pretty sure that was because they used the first one to make a shitload of money so they could have a bigger budget for the sequel and do what they wanted in the first place) and Election Year goes even bigger, louder, and more fun. I hope they let it end here, but if they don’t, I hope it goes even crazier.
Directed by David F. Sandberg
Written by Eric Heisserer
Lights Out is based on a short film that I have not seen yet. However, this is not a movie I expected to enjoy. I heard it was OK, but I figured it was another one of those PG-13 moneymaker horror movies we keep churning out. And it sort of was, but it was one of the best ones we’ve had. Great acting all around. The child was not annoying at all. The evil thing was really fun, and they played with light in some really cool ways.
Directed by Jeremy Saulnier
Written by Jeremy Saulnier
Anton Yelchin’s death was a tragedy. He was a great actor with an extremely bright future. This was one of his final performances, and it was also one of his best. This movie was tense, intense, and so so stressful. I was super stressed out within the first 20 minutes. It is violent, fun, and disturbing. Fantastic performances by all of the actors (including Patrick Stewart as the leader of the Neo-Nazis). Not just one of the best horror movies of the year, but one of the best overall. Jeremy Saulnier also directed Blue Ruin, which I HIGHLY recommend.
Directed by Jaume Collet Serra
Written by Jaswinski
The Shallows is like Gravity, but Jaws. It’s also better than Gravity, but not as good as Jaws. It’s tough to be better than Jaws though, so this is still an amazing movie. Blake Lively gives a career-best performance as a surfer who gets stuck on a rock alone in Mexico with a shark constantly trying to eat her. It’s a wild time. I wish I could go see it in theaters again.
Directed by Fede Alvarez
Written by Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues
Fede Alvarez gave us the Evil Dead remake, which is one of the best horror remakes of all time. Especially since it could maybe not even really be a remake. Don’t Breathe is an incredible movie. It is one of the most suspenseful movie I have ever seen (seriously) and as far as modern, non-supernatural horror is concerned, I think it’s almost as good as You’re Next, and as good as The Guest.
Directed by Robert Eggers
Written by Robert Eggers
The Witch is the best movie I have seen this year. Regardless of genre.