Super-On-Time Top 50 movies of 2015 Part 1: Honorable Mentions




So, as you may have noticed, my Top 50 has begun. Day 1, however, is the movies that just COULDN’T SQUEAK BY. It hurts me to write this, as these are movies I loved. But since I didn’t see quite enough great movies this year to write a Top 100, here we are. Now, the thing about this list is that these are all imperfect movies. All movies are imperfect in their own ways, but these are the movies that just didn’t do as much as the 50 other, better movies I saw this year. And maybe they aren’t better. Maybe I just didn’t like them as much. Because that’s the thing about my list guys. It’s not my 50 favorites or the 50 best. It’s some kind of monstrous amalgamation of those 2 topics.

Anyway let’s get this show on the road.

So right off the bat I’m going to just mention a couple of movies I was really into that I wish I could have put on the list.

andrew garfield 99 homes
99 Homes
Directed by Ramin Bahrani

So this is a movie about a man who gets his house foreclosed on and ends up having to work for the guy who foreclosed on his house to make enough money to buy it back. A lot of depressing, sad turmoil in this one. It’s tough to get through at times but it’s really very good. Michael Shannon as the antagonist is Michael Shannon being amazing YET AGAIN.

Mr. Holmes
Directed by Bill Condon

Sir Ian McKellen playing an aged Sherlock Holmes who is losing his detective skills sounds like a really sad movie, and it is at times. But by the end it’s heartwarming and uplifting (in a good way, not in the angry, cynical way I usually describe feel-good movies). It jumps back and forth in time to the case that led to his retirement. It’s a pleasant little movie. I definitely recommend it.

Directed by Baltasar Kormakur

Great story of hikers climbing Mt Everest. What you see is basically what you get. It’s tense, sometimes sad, very exciting, and very well-acted. It’s based on true events. It has a great cast. It’s a wonderful visual experience.

The Gift
Directed by Joel Edgerton

I love Jason Bateman. I’ll pretty much watch anything he’s in. He almost always plays an asshole, but he’s usually a dry, funny asshole. In The Gift, he’s just an asshole. Bitter, angry, and unlikable. It’s the first time I’ve ever been really impressed with one of his performances. The movie itself is also great. It’s an intense, bizarre psychological thriller. I wasn’t crazy about it after first seeing it, but then I watched it again after some time had passed and realized it was much better than I had originally thought.

The Good Dinosaur
Directed by Peter Sohn

It must suck to be the other Pixar movie to come out in a year. But I really liked this. The problem is it definitely is the other Pixar movie. In pretty much every way. It is beautifully animated, the voice acting is great, and the story is heartwarming, entertaining, and exciting.

Okay so now I’m going to talk about the great horror movies that JUST MISSED the cut

Directed by Leo Gabriadze

This movie had no right whatsoever to be as entertaining as it was. My first thought upon hearing about this was “Oh so a rip-off of The Den and Open Windows, but with Skype” but I was only partially right. This movie was definitely better than both of those movies. The way they implemented the instant messaging was cool too. I hope this doesn’t become a trend, but for a one-off, it was purely entertaining. It’s no masterpiece, but it’s fun.

The Voices
Directed by Marjane Satrapi

So the genius who brought us the Persepolis books brought us a goofy Ryan Reynolds comedy/horror about a guy who talks to his pets and the severed heads of his victims. Ok. I can accept that. And you should too.

We are Still Here
Directed by Ted Geoghegan

Barbara Crampton was in Re-AnimatorCastle Freak, and From Beyond. And You’re Next! So I’ll basically watch anything she’s in. This movie is pretty unique as far as haunted house type horror goes. I don’t want to give too much away, but it definitely does some really cool stuff I haven’t quite seen before.

Okay so now here are the blockbuster big budget action movies that just missed the mark
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Directed by Joss Whedon

I love Marvel Comics. I love Marvel movies. I loved Avengers. All the movies that led up to this. And I even loved this. It just didn’t quite grab me the same way the first one did. James Spader was amazing as Ultron. Paul Bettany finally evolving from JARVIS to Vision was wonderful to see. I’m so excited for Captain America: Civil War COMING OUT A WHILE FROM NOW IN MAY HAHAHA WOW SO FAR AWAY BECAUSE IT’S NEW YEAR’S DAY

Jurassic World
Directed by Colin Trevorrow

I don’t know if you guys quite realize how tough it is to put some of these movies in the honorable mentions as opposed to my Top 50. Hell, that’s actually most likely the entire reason I’m making an honorable mention list.

Damn it I loved this movie.

Furious 7
Directed by James Wan

The Fast and Furious series is so weird. You have the first one, which is a fine, fun, melodramatic, dumb douchey action movie. You have 2-4 which are hot garbage. Then Fast Five comes out and it’s good and fun. 6 comes out and is even better. 7 comes out and is the best one yet. I just don’t understand it, but I accept it.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Directed by Guy Ritchie

This movie was stylish and fun. It was funny. It was entertaining. It was well-acted. I don’t ask for much more in my summer movies.

Also this puts Alicia Vikander on this list, my worst movies list, and she’s definitely going to be in my Top 50. She’s already huge and she’s going to get even bigger. And she deserves it.

San Andreas
Directed by Brad Peyton

I will NEVER try to hide or deny my love for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I love his wrestling and I love (most) of his movies. I did NOT go into this movie with high expectations. At best, I expected a movie I could sit in the theater and make fun of. I was wrong. This movie was pretty much non-stop fun from start-to-finish.

In the Heart of the Sea
Directed by Ron Howard

Man people HATED this one. I have no idea why. I thought it was a very well-made historical action movie. The acting was good, the writing was good, the set-pieces were awesome. Everyone I talked to who saw it liked it. I really don;t get the hate.

1251623 - Chappie
Directed by Neill Blomkamp

District 9 is easily one of the greatest science fiction movies of the last decade. Elysium is less great but still visually excellent. Chappie was somewhere between those, to me. To others, it was highly divisive, though most people didn’t like it. Maybe I’m biased because I like Die Antwoord (who play themselves in this movie) and/or maybe the people who dislike the movie disliked it because they don’t like Die Antwoord. I don’t know. All I know is I enjoyed the movie quite a bit.

Okay so now I’m going to tell you about the movies that absolutely came so SO close to making it on to my top 50 but, at the least second, just couldn’t cut it.

He Never Died
Directed by Jason Krawczyk

Henry Rollins plays an antisocial, invincible cannibal that really likes bingo and has severe anger problems. If that means anything to you, see the movie. It’s on Netflix USA.

Turbo Kid 
Directed by Anouk Whissell, Francois Simard, and Yoan-Karl Whissell

Turbo Kid is a gory, violent, R-rated vision of a live-action 80s cartoon and accompanying toy-line. I can’t think of anything else to say because that alone should be enough. Michael Ironside is in it. He was in RoboCop.

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The Forbidden Room
Directed by Guy Maddin

Guy Maddin makes all of his movies in the style of really old silent movies or 40s horror movies. They’re all highly surreaslist. This one is probably the most so. They’re absolutely not for everyone, and really the only reason this isn’t on my Top 50 is because I can’t really compare it quality-wise to any other movie (besides maybe another of Maddin’s). It’s basically an anthology of related, layered shorts that include (but are not limited to): an instructional video on how to take a bath, a human sacrifice into a volcano, a crew stuck on a submarine, and a strange satanic cult who kidnap a plastic surgeon. It’s on Netflix too.

Directed by Henry Hobson

Maggie is an Arnold Schwarzenegger zombie movie. But it’s definitely not what you would expect from that description. It’s a slow, somber movie about a man trying to save his daughter. Like Commando, but way more serious, not at all over-the-top, and really sad. It shows some impressive acting skills by Schwarzenegger and also by Abigail Breslin (who repeatedly impresses).

The Diary of a Teenage Girl
Directed by Marielle Heller

The Diary of a Teenage Girl is about a young girl who has a relationship with her mother’s boyfriend. It’s difficult to describe, but basically the whole movie is from the perspective of her, narrated by her diary. It’s visually incredible, wonderfully acted and written, and super important because it takes a blunt look into the life of a teenage girl. Not THE teenage girl mind you (lookin’ at you Secret Life of the American Teenager), just A teenage girl.

Yakuza Apocalypse
Directed by Takashi Miike

Takashi Miike could be my favorite director. He’s definitely one of them. Here, we have his take on a martial-arts-heavy gang action movie that also has vampires and the apocalypse and an invincible frog god (pictured). I uh… yeah. Definitely see this one.

Okay guys that was my honorable mentions. Again, some of these hurt, but they’re all great movies. The plan is to get my first 10 (50-41) out to you guys SOMETIME tomorrow. No promises.



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